Revealing Insight: Allow Time to Grieve the Things That are Changing
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While trying to create a LinkedIn post last week frustration, resentment and emotions surfaced. I realized I was challenged by coping with the changes brought by COVID 19. My ideas would not flow clearly. Grief had entered the picture.
COVID 19 brought abrupt change: absurd, humbling, non-optional, and unpredictable change. It is normal to feel grief “whenever our attachments are threatened, harmed, or severed.” Some griefs we are experiencing now are: loss of normalcy, separation of loved ones, changing job and work situations, deaths, lost opportunities such as canceled once-in-a-lifetime events, fear of economic toll, loss of connection, loss of assumptions about the “old normal”, personal and collective level grief and many more.
Our anxiety about future uncertainty is called “anticipatory grief” because our hearts and minds are trying to prepare for what is to come.
Our anxiety about future uncertainty is called “anticipatory grief” because our hearts and minds are trying to prepare for what is to come.
It is essential to recognize that we can and need to work with our grief. “The process of expressing our grief is called mourning.” How we grieve and mourn is personal. There are six basic mourning needs for us at this time according to Dr. Alan Wolfelt.
Six basic mourning needs
- “Acknowledge the reality of the pandemic as well as your grief” – Turn grief into active mourning. Talk about your internal thoughts, feelings and share fears.
- “Honor all of your feelings” – Express your feelings fully and honestly to provide you with instant comfort and relief.
- “Practice gratitude for the good in your life” – Spend a few minutes each day finding ways to express gratitude for the people, experiences and things that are most precious to you.
- “Be kind to yourself” – Commit to taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually in a small way each day.
- “Search for meaning” – We are in this transitional stage called the ‘Wilderness’. It is natural to wonder what is happening. Focus on being mindful and in the moment.
- “Reach out to others to give and accept support” – Stay connected and be open and honest in your communication about what you are feeling or struggling with.
The mourning process starts with self-awareness, being in the moment and recognizing your form of grief. Name specific things you care about which are under threat. For example, children not being able to play in the park, not being able to use gym programs, human connection.
What things are you presently grieving? What support do you need to move through your mourning? Join me in mourning well to change ourselves, bring out our leadership capabilities, and live and love well.
Hi, I'm Jody Béke!
MA ABS LEADERSHIP, CPCC, PCC
I help leaders and teams that aspire to something greater.
I help to empower and shift people to break through their old assumptions and thinking to adopt a new internal operating system that will help them to manage their reactive tendencies and excel in their creative competencies. By doing this, we create more conscious and effective leaders and teams.